|
Only
an
a$$hole
gets
killed
for
a
kids
class...*
I
have
accepted
more
gigs
spreading
the
Gospel
of
English.
This
morning
I
am
late
again.
Tried
to
make
some
time
by
shaving
faster
in
the
shower
and
now
bleed
like
an
Afghan
civilian.
I
dodge
traffic
on
my
bicycle
to
get
to
the
station,
legs
pumping
like
the
pistons
in
the
boiler
room
scenes
from
Titanic.
I
sweat
and
curse,
it's
raining
and
there
is
a
heavy
wind
against
my
face
which
explodes
my
umbrella
back
assways
but
I
do
not
have
time
to
stop
and
fix
it.
It
has
sentimental
value
so
I
can
not
pitch
it
but
rather
must
nurture
enroute
this
broken
bitch
of
a
bird,
one-handing
it
all
the
way
to
some
station-adjacent
illegal
bike
parking
and
tether
up
there.
Now
I
am
behind
schedule
&
wet,
and
will
be
all
day.
*
After
I
swerved
to
avoid
getting
clipped
by
a
delivery
truck
only
to
nearly
T-bone
a
large
passenger
car--all
in
a
mad
dash
to
get
the
train
to
be
on
time
to
pound
some
nonsense
phrases
into
some
kids--this
permutation
of
the
Repo
Man
line
popped
into
my
head,
and
I
chilled
right
the
fck
out.
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POW!!
&
Meowww!
looking
out
the
subway
window,
around
shijo
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An
oft-told
tale...
under
sanjo
bridge,
kyoto.
couples
and
groups
sprawl,
drink,
relax
&
commingle.
there
is
a
mighty
convenient
convenient
store
just
up
yonder
this
started
out
as
a
very
rainy
night,
literally
under
the
bridge,
just
us.
but
as
the
rain
cleared
the
college
kids
started
to
coalesce
on
either
side
in
their
always
merry
groups.
|
Japanese
Hillbillies
(Airstreams
&
all)
like
hillbillies
everywhere,
sitting
around
a
circle
of
cans,
burning
shit.
smoke
pours
into
the
field
across
the
street
where
children
run
around
&
try
to
play
soccer
but
not
need
medical
treatment
for
smoke
inhalation.
this
went
on
for
most
of
the
afternoon
a
neighbor
pops
by.
having
lost
80%
O2
uptake,
this
guy
takes
a
breather,
as
it
were.
this
park
is
just
across
from
a
nice
simple
beach
on
Lake
Biwa,
into
which
we
later
dipped
to
try
and
rinse
out
our
lungs.
|
Japan's
best
beer...
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the
ceo
of
a
fortune
1000
company
sips
from
a
can
of
happo-shu
swill
on
the
evening
train...sukkiri!
refreshing!
|
for
a
homeless
mall
squatter
he
has
taste...
and
from
the
amused
look
on
the
face
of
the
mall
cop
right,
a
decent
rap,
too.
they
were
all
chatting
for
a
while,
the
cops
trying
to
coerce
him
to
leave,
or
at
least
elevate
to
a
bench,
while
people--natives
and
tourists
alike--flowed
past
on
either
side
like
a
river
around
rock. (I
know
the
place
looks
devoid
of
pedestrians;
that's
because
I
photoshopped
them
all
out,
it's
actually
a
swinging
underground
bazaar)
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suckulent
|
Freak
of
the
Week
famous
for,
among
other
tawdry
things,
passing
a
note
to
a
bartender
at
Union
Pool
in
NYC
that
read:
"I
want
to
give
you
a
hand job
with
my
mouth."
This
is
now
on
T-shirts.
btw,
that's
a
tattoo
not
a
lace
camisole
peeking
out
from
her
sweater.
this
Utah
escapee
also
asked
some
guy
to
"throw
a
hot
dog
down
my
hall."
when
Mormons
go
bad...they
go
really
bad.
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just
like
japan...
you
can
be
a
complete
yutz
and
still
get
some
skinshippu
w/
a
cute
girlie.
though
she
may
be
a
grifting
psychopath.
still
a
cutie.
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It's
funny...the
Japanese
are
always
sitting
on
the
bike
seat
sauntering
to
wherever
they
are
going--work
or
school
just
like
us,
and
are
rarely
late.
The
only
people
I
always
see
haulingass
all
over
town,
standing
erect
on
the
pedals
pumping
like
fools,
swaying
to
and
fro
on
the
downstrokes
for
max
acceleration,
manhandling
bikes
like
thugs,
are
we
the
gaijin.
Except
for
the
Mormons;
they're
always
cool
and
under
control
as
they
breeze
along...but
those
guys've
got
God
on
their
side.
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some
things
to
not
do
in
kyoto:
dodder
down
the
busy
streets
holding
your
map
out
in
front
of
you
like
some
sort
of
divining
rod.
|
Let
Them
Eat
Spam!
groovy
handmade
magnets...coming
soon!
some
we
will
leave
at
spots
around
towns,
FREE
for
the
grabbing.
some
will
be
on
my
fridge.
some
we
will
give
out
as
contest
prizes
or
for
small
donations
of
ducats
to
help
us
continue
our
charitable
work.
if
you
are
interested...drop
us
a
line.
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(+_<)
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HELOES!
Season
3
|
aw,
check
it
out!
there
is
some
wicked
stuff
on
the
tube
tonight! 
The
local
free
TV
Guide
|
|
wear
our
ignorance
on
your
sleeve...and
chest...and
back.
japandemic
T-shirts...
coming
soon!
|
ichiro
fckng
loves
his
brew,
man!
|
|
...as
do
these
guys.
just
a
few
boys
having
a
few
tall-boys
at
the
station
after
a.m.
lessons
at
a
private
high
school.
|
LAMBO! |
|
Mozilla
Firefox
vs
Microsoft
Internet
Explorer
a
note
on
the
man-machine
interface:
when
I
make
this
site
and
check
it,
or
do
anything
internet,
I
use
Mozilla
Firefox
because
it
is
light,
clean,
more
secure,
and,
until
they
force-fed
me
their
last
shitty
Update,
faster.
The
site
looks
right
in
Firefox.
The
font
is
clear
and
a
joy
to
read.
but
because
some
sick
number
like
86%
of
humans
still
use
MS
IE
I
go
in
and
view
the
site
using
Internet
Explorer,
and
I
always
want
to
hang
myself.
the
font
is
a
mixed
bag...jumbled,
thin,
blurry...a
strain
to
read.
so
I
will
go
back
and
fatten
or
enlarge
the
Arial
I
love
so
so
that
IE
users
can
enjoy
it.
my
apologies
if
it
looks
like
I
am
yelling
or
everything
I
say
is
so
fckng
important
I
have
bolded
it.
cheers.
|
|
help...and
be
helped
|
|
paging
Dr.
Freud...
|
our
lawyers
demand
we
post
this
disclaimer,
for
purposes
of
legal
CYA
protection.
|
Buddha
says
Stop.
|
...we're
going
in!
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|
there
is
a
circulating
rumor
that
japanese
girls
are
amoral;
that
is
not
true.
in
fact,
they
even
have
a
bible.
here
it
is:
some
scripture: 
dogma,
best
explained
by
schematic: 
acolytes: 
|
Now
you
may
Go
in
Peace.
by
no
means
one
the
the
Great
Buddha
DaiButsu
of
Japan,
still
a
pretty
imposing
presence
at
the
local
intersection.
suburban,
Osaka.
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penance;
the
sacrifice
of
waiting:
(sometimes
referred
to
as
The
Vuittican,
Paris): 
...answered
prayers.
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XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX
XOX
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Luke...use
The
Force,
Luke.
whenever
we
blast
through
this
bridge
/
tunnel
edifice
I
re-live
that
penultimate
(or
damn
near)
scene
from
Star
Wars
IV
where
they
have
to
drop
one
in
the
hole
and
scram.
I
always
get
the
first
person
shooter
POV
because
I
ride
in
the
front
car
with
my
otaku
homies.
Word.
|
This
guy
(that's
right,
guy)
is
one
of
the
hottest
dudes
in
Japan...in
an
aging
boy
band
called
SMAP
that
is
everywhere
24/7
(including,
as
of
late,
jail).
his
street
name
is
KimuTaku
and
if
I
live
here
much
longer
I,
too,
will
want
to
marry
him.
I don't
know
what
the
hell
Moving
Rubber
is
or
does,
but
it's
sold
in
the
cosmetics
dept
&
I
bet
it
pulls
chicks.
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a
more
pissed
off
monk
I've
never
seen.
at
a
temple
in
Kyoto
which
will
remain
unnamed
as
these
monks
all
know
kickass
karate
moves,
like
Kwai
Chang
Cain
(sp?)
in
Kung
Fu.
This
benevolent
soul
was
tasked
with
scraping
all
the
coins
out
of
the
depository
box
and
some
of
the
little
cretins
weren't
coming
out--they
were
wedged
flat
into
corners
and
so
on,
really
heaping
trouble
and
vexation
on
this
low-ranking
apprentice.
I
learned
a
few
holy
curse
words
that
day.
(better
photo
coming
which
shows
the
tray
of
money
and
the
box;
this
is
a
crappy
handheld
digi-photo
of
a
Provia
print
in
the
docket
to
be
scanned.)
|
(^
.
^)
|
been
seeing
a
little
too
much
of
this
screen
lately.
|
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p
|
|
fellow
readers:
if
you
like
this
site
please
spread
the
word
like
human
manure
over
an
Edo
Period
rice
field.
thank
you.
doumo
arigatou
gozaimasu!
posting
a
link
to
this
site
also
much
appreciated
and
good
karma
for
you.
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Amen.
|
card
courtesy
sparkledusted
fine
cards
|
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