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smart  sexy  cool  japan Lived on the Inside.  Seen from the Outside.  


getting ready to board my train...hopin' to be gropin' !

T-shirts of inspiration! (coming soon: the whole set)



...my job killing me


...at what used to be my favorite sushi counter, until they racially profiled then seated me between doughheaded hillbilly landlocked okie date rapist fratfucks who've never seen more water than the 6 Flags Over Texas wave pool, never eaten better than Mrs Pauls breaded fishsticks, and some po-mo neo-peacenik hippie creep with his hefty Asian Unfrom--a loud, beef fed, pushy girl like your more visible majority...



some junior salarymen unwind with some pseudo blood guts balls and violence at the game center, before going back to their parents' home and surf lolita porn in the basement.


osaka. great show, except for the dildo next to me twittering the whole set list on his apphole iPhone to his dickweed friends who couldnt get tickets...the whole show.  creep.

fresh local river fish, ayu, impaled, possibly alive, on chopsticks and grilling over real charcoal (chunks of log & branches not powder pressed into briquets)...the best cooking technique ever.

cute baby wild boar いのしし running around in our yard.  apparently it came down from its home in the mountains about 20 km away, and has been progressing towards the city for about one week, according to sightings.

ぬふあうえおやゆよわほへたていすかんなにらせちとしはきくまのりれけむつさそひこみもねるめろ。This is the entire Japanese hiragana keyboard on a PC, in order, starting with the '1' and finishing at the '_' . One rogue keystroke I'm in for hours of spack-fisted pounding to get back to dear old QWERTY...
think of nothing

maid theater at the Kyoto Hotel


the house brand milk at 7-11®, now a Japanese company.

hey, look at those chicks from our office down there!


the gatekeeper. time in minutes and money prices on the same sign can only mean one thing...vice.



everyone pours drinks for everyone, everywhere, men and women. it's nice...but may get me slapped off the tailgate on Super Bowl Sunday.



Me is happy. (^ o ^)



the lovely summer view out from omi-maiko beach on Lake Biwa, "Mother Lake",

and the view of where I stood:

Rude as Jude. Open question to the people of this land: why do you dump so much trash on every beach, every day, every season, every time?  it's really unnecessary.  someone better give these guys a call!

born to be mild...

my new bridgestone bicycle

beautiful free stock photos, click button:

the nail which sticks up the highest gets hammered down the hardest

late again, because another japanese businessman at the end of his rope jumped in front of my train...a japanese woman who teaches with me at the college asked me if in america so many people jump in front of trains.  I had to level with her; any american in that much psychic pain is going to throw someone else in front of a train. we selfish blaming bastards would have scrolled a LONG list of righteous candidates before ever looking homeward, inward...

a story:

Mucking Fonkeys Everywhere! ...seen that smile once before, on the face of a carney who snuck me undersized & aged onto his industrial merry-go-round and spun me round and round until all the merry came burning out my nose...more

submitted by a wannabe writer and sycophant who claims, "this was first published by KansaiScene© magazine, but those asswipes never paid me, so you can print it here."


Babel On Revisited ...I manage to work into this (and every) interview that I had known Sharon Stone and she gets excited about that then tells me how she used to wait tables in Woodland Hills and was in acting class with a guy who is now...more


too little, too late (the kindness of strangers)

with time to kill, some kindhearted foreigner handcrafted, laminated and then posted this  helpful sign in a japanese toilet. Lonely Planet, Frommer's, Hilton Hotels, et. al., you have my permission (& counsel) to print this photo and include in any & all future guidebooks, literature (shiterature?) & promotional materials.

the sign, in situ, (public restroom, south end of the Kyoto Gosho)

note how spanky shiny clean and turdpile-free this one is?


...he asked her an innocuous, entry-level language pen type question:  "What did you have for dinner last night?" beat-pause-wink, "Aussie beef." she slurred. J after the lesson she and The Kangaroo  slipped upstairs onto the roof overlooking Shijo, and she brought her bottle of Crystal Geyser water reinforced  with shochu, a japanese wheat vodka.  she hadnt been a student long, transferring down from one of the bigger schools in Tokyo to follow her work, but they must have been together for a little while...certainly before the news made its way home with him. because, as they say in Hollywood, no one leaves his wife on spec...more


enter at your own ri$k

nice restaurants in kyoto are notoriously secretive, unwelcoming, hard to find, tough to navigate and take gumption to venture into.  but well worth the effort.  try...

may all your wishes come true...

bad fortunes tied off on a tree at ishiyamadera


$200 well misspent


garish pink ceiling:  pachinko parlor? game center? H hotel? nursery school? race queen's dorm?                            ...Yes.

they say that if you find a schoolgirl uniform more arousing than adult lingerie, you've been here too long.

stuff americans would steal

in japan all sorts of things of value are left unattended, unlocked and accessible. to the great credit of this country, this swag is almost never ever stolen, vandalised or molested.

(a photo annotated list... COMING SOON)

Let's Happy!!!
some more

fellow readers: if you like this site please spread the word like human manure over an Edo Period rice field.  thanks.  doumo arigatou!

posting a link to this site also much appreciated and good karma for you. 


Does the fact that there is no god here mean that every ordinary everyday gesture - wrapping a box of bean candies, for example - has been invested with a little sacredness?                                -- momus

david foster wallace

click this photo to see a DFW syllabus...quality.


...show gratitude.

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