“You've got to ask yourself one question: 'Do I feel lucky?'  Well...do ya, punk?”     --vintage Clint

If you do, then get in line!

got 'em!!!

Above:  Witness the Nen-Matsu Jambou (Year-End Jumbo Lottery). This lineup of humanity is for a Lottery booth in Kyoto station near the entrance to the subway; it is a vending location believed to be "hot" and "lucky" because it has sold many a winning tix in the past.

Come game day, the winning combination is chosen by a guy shooting arrows at revolving, numbered wheels on live TV, or something scientific like that.

me!?!

Little Daddy Macks, untraceable line, pimpin'.

Thought for the Day:

"The mind... can make a Heaven of Hell, a Hell of Heaven."  --J. Milton, (who, while good with the language, never got it together to come to Japan and teach English)

Docent guide / bouncer at the Kyoto Manga Museum, flying his colors.

He had to keep telling this thickhead whining fcking pushy NYC Long Island why-I-left-USA couple (combatative body language visible) that "closed" means yes, for you good people, too. 

Above scenario:  Nearing the denouement & sensing defeat, the Yanksters stage one final dramatic act of huffing & puffing & browbeating of the guard-o-man (to no avail).

"Closed".  Means it's after hours and you can't go in now...just like "closed" means in your country.

(Don't forget to use that return ticket, folks!)

with our compliments...

Ladies...a ladies' man. (swoon!)

all the male club hosts & aspirants dress / coif / slink like this.

see men's egg for (too much) more.

coming...

...and going.

!!!!! !!! !!!!!

North Korea at night: the Greenest country on the face of the earth.  Apart from that one blotch center left, 100% pure black. Nothing being burnt, smoked, torched, fissioned, fusioned, heated, lit, cooked, roasted, baked, stoked or smelted. Just dark Nature, bringing all its atavistic demons.

For a country not even welcome at the summit, NK is doing a swell job abiding by the spirit of the Kyoto protocol.

We have seen the future; it has syphilis, a harem & a bad haircut.

Give me two turntables, and I'll make you a universe.

                                                                --DJ Spooky

(my turntables are a lens & a keypad...what are yours?)

(These are statistical averages of what will befall you based on my years here.)

Get yourself to Japan, and 10 years of sloppily collected & processed data predict that:

You won't cure your depression.

You will show up & people will find you fascinating.

You will become some stage of alcoholic.

You will get girlfriends, many cuter than those of your friends/enemies back home.

You may not need to start (m)any of the conversations that get them.

You will settle into a rhythm sooner & more effortlessly than you think.

You will notice that many rules don't apply.

You will begin to believe that you are, in fact, fascinating.

You will be happier the more you do not live like a Japanese.

You will play the gaijin card as needed to get out of awkward or unpleasant situations.

You will love the food.

You will drink in public.

You will notice the glow wearing off.

You will be at a loss how to bring it back.

You will compose diatribes like this one, if only in your head.

You will stay.

Or, you will go.

* this should in no way be construed as a solicitation of more foreigners here; we have well enough already and our cachet is wearing thin.

** past performance is no guarantee of future results.  (see prospectus for full details).

*The no-socializing clause...

Another jetful of JETs (& ALTs & ELTs) coming over here to mess around.

--Spalding Gray, on his creative process.

Watching Life, and a fire-lit float, pass by. Nagano.

recent graduates...congatulations!

omedetou!

international relations

(rock up your daughters!)

bought this kirin brew out of a vending machine the other night for almost 1/2 price...best explained by it being 2 seasons past fresh date.

large kanji on left reads aki (Fall/Autumn); on right aji (taste).

what if they gave a smoking area and nobody came?

(this is about as rare as those photos of Tokyo streets with 0 people on them.)

sleepers...all down the line.

on the local train, looking down my row (that's my green puffy jacket) and they're all conked out after a hard day.

bakachon, an ugly slang term for disposable point & shoot film cameras.

baka = stupid, chon = old term for a korean.  means these things are so simple even a stupid korean can figure out how to use one.

...being an official English textbook, this goes a long way in explaining the crazy English you encounter throughout this country.

schoolkids + manga on train platform

Lovely reflections on the filthy Dotonbori, by the bridge, Osaka.

nothing reported here is made up.

regardless of phrasing, not all the things reported necessarily = me, the guy typing on the keypad.  

this is a chronicle of the life here.  much of this is about people cooler, younger, happier, more together, wasted, lost, interesting, misguided, broken, etc., than myself.  

this site is also a good place to find the occasional stereotype & archetype.

opinions & comments: some are uniquely mine, others the strong opinions of people I know or knew, others the prevailing sentiment in general.

if I am doing things right, it should be impossible to tell which is which.

lest we forget: names of the guilty have been changed; innocence is its own protection.

enjoy the chronicles.

homemade cheeseburger made from Japanese beef

(of course, making this thing ends up being about my accomplishment for the day.)

still a little cold out, so got the drinking glove.

carry on.

let me clear my throat!

this is the machine that digs down through the center of the earth to America.

Buddhist prayer beads hanging from the rearview; perform the same protective function the St. Christopher medals did in the cars of all my uncles.

p

fellow readers: if you like this site please spread the word like human manure over an Edo Period rice field.  doumo arigatou!

posting a link to this site also much appreciated and good karma for you. 

A little more Spalding Gray:

"But the man...who knows that after he dies his history will last maybe twenty minutes at most, who just wants to regress a little bit, that man should go to Thailand...But he should be careful because it inflates your estrogen and ego in the worst way, making it difficult to reenter the West. He may end up staying on as a schoolteacher-- many men do.  They get stuck in the Lust Ring. I met them there and they were schoolteachers."

Now, I know Japan isn't Thailand. But it's a lot closer than say, the USA or UK or Oz...and not just on the Mercator Projection.

Good smut wasted, Kyoto station trash bin; it's like throwing away food.  Don't they know there are kids in Africa with no 4-color offset porn?

getting us ready for spring? (you charming devil, you.)

Rika-chan dolls (the Japanese Barbie®) in both traditional and cosplay garb

sakura mochi